Cher's matchmaking plans come to a screeching halt when she is trapped with Elton in his Firebird (the 1990's version of a barouche-landau, one supposes) and forced to endure his advances. She consoles herself by developing a crush on the mysterious Christian, obviously meant to be Frank Churchill's alter ego; however, he was not secretly engaged but was gay, or in the words of Cher's best friend's boyfriend, "a disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde-reading, Streisand ticket-holding friend of Dorothy!" Cher berates herself for not realizing Christian's sexual preference sooner: of course, she missed obvious clues such as his fondness for movies such as Some Like It Hot and Spartacus (or, as Cher calls it, Sporaticus). Cher, like her predecessor Emma, finally realizes that her arrangements have not improved her friends' lives: "Everything I think and everything I do is wrong. I was wrong about Elton, I was wrong about Christian...It all boiled down to one inevitable conclusion--I was just totally clueless!" Cher, like Emma, takes a big dose of humility and finds that it is good for her.


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