ADVANTAGES

Contrast this with America, a country just a porous line in the sand away from Mexico, where steroids are an illegal, Schedule III drug, and where congressmen have declared a "national public health crisis" because livers are rotting, kidneys are failing, cancer is rampant, teens are hanging themselves, and otherwise normal people go into psychotic episodes that end in madness, mayhem, murder and death. Sports stars are falling in disgrace, the great American pastime's record books are littered with asterisks, and the children, our precious pioneers of tomorrow, are in imminent and grave peril.

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